“You are infertile” she coldly said. My doctor gave me the news as if she were reciting the menu from a restaurant. Cold, robotic, and emotionless. My husband and I had recently gotten married and we had hopes of having our own family in the future, and I was in shock. Immediately, a sense of my identity died that day. I am LATINA I thought. We pride ourselves in having big families. Infertility wasn’t something that anyone in my family had ever dealt with. I would be the only one. Immediately a slew of worries overwhelmed me. What would my family think? What do I do now? I was so ashamed. My husband wanted kids so badly at the time and I was the one who wanted to wait because I was still finishing up my academic degrees, but I eventually wanted to have more kids when we were more financially stable. This wasn’t part of the plan. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
When I was in my teens, I was told that I had Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). My story starts in middle school when I went to go visit the school nurse. I forgot what was the reason I had gone to her, but I think our school was having a health check day or something like that. When I sat down on that cold, hard, gray seat with the metal legs, she said, "You have PCOS".
I looked at her confused. She, the school nurse, said, "I know this because you have an abnormal amount of hair growth on your body, irregular periods, and I would guess that you have an abnormally high testosterone level too. Make sure you follow up with your doctor". I left the school nurse’s office feeling confused. I had never heard of anyone in my family having this, and I was too young to fully understand what this meant. I went home and told my parents what the nurse told me.
“You are latina! You have dark hair! There is nothing wrong with you!” my father dismissively yelled. I told him that I should probably go get checked just to be sure and his response was, “No. That nurse doesn’t know what she is talking about. Don’t let that get into your head.” My mother responded with, “Yeah, mija. There is nothing wrong with you. She is mistaken”. And that was that. I always had some suspicion that I would be infertile, but no follow up tests were conducted when I was a teenager and that was the last time we ever spoke about this. It wasn’t until years later when I met my husband that I started visiting my gynecologist. She conducted her usual tests, and lo and behold she confirmed the diagnosis that that school nurse had made many years ago. I didn’t know much about PCOS, but from what I was told at the time there wasn’t much research on it. Noone knew what caused it.
There's more to my medical history, but I will save that for another time.
For many years I struggled to cope with it. I felt horrible and sad. It really affected me. Then some several tragedies happened within my marriage and family, I reached a point emotionally where I was at rock bottom. That brought me to a church where I was hoping for some sort of hope and help. I never believed in Jesus. Actually, I believed in quite the opposite. Growing up, I was incredibly doubtful on the existence of Jesus Christ. I considered those who believed in Him as naive, ignorant, stupid, gullible, and very misled. I was coming from a background of New Age spirituality, but that is a story for another time. Nothing I was doing was working for me and I was in a very dark place emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. We had just moved to Texas at the time and we went to a nearby church. I always saw the people so happy there so I went, not because I believed in Jesus (actually quite the opposite), but because I wanted to be around happiness just for a bit. Well, in that service that day I was so moved and it felt like the sermon spoke to my soul. He even said,"There is someone who came today who cannot have kids. They are broken and crushed and God wants me to tell you that he can heal you and restore you if you give your life to Jesus". I never believed in that kind of stuff before, but for some reason I was convinced that was spoken for me. My husband and I accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and recited the Sinner’s prayer on the spot. Although I have to admit that I was still skeptical. That happened in 2018. After that so many things happened and I prayed. I began to see my life being restored but there were some serious things I was going through.
Fast forward to the future. It was in 2019. I was praying, and in one of my prayer sessions, I asked God to guide me and tell me what to do. That’s when I received the inspiration to become raw vegan. I didn't understand it at the time, but I did it. I was so bad emotionally that being raw vegan was better than dealing with the pain of my life staying the same. I was faithfully raw vegan for 4 months straight. 100% raw. Absolutely no cooked, processed, or non-raw vegan foods. I was divinely guided to read the book of Daniel where I learned there was a thing in the Christian community called a Daniel Fast. I figured that's why God wanted me to do that.
After the 4 months of being a raw vegan, God blessed my husband and I with a trip to Italy, and literally on the return flight home from Italy, I was hit with something horrible. We didn't know what it was but it was one of the worst pains I had, and I was in so much pain that even the flight staff were concerned and encouraged me to go to the nearest hospital. Fortunately, the pain subsided and I boarded that plane with the plan of immediately going to the hospital when I arrived to the United States.
When I came home to the US, there were several tests done and I was told that I had gallstones. Well fortunately, I got the emergency surgery in time because according to my surgeon if I had waited just a little bit longer I would have had a gallstone enter my common bile duct and it would have done serious damage to my liver and to me. Thus I immediately had my gallbladder removed and was healing from that. According to the doctors, I had been building these gallstones for 2 years. I was shocked. There was no occurrence of any gallstone issues in my family medical history. I was the first one.
So this happened and I went into a bit of a mourning period because of my lost organ. Some more time had passed and I don't really know what I was hoping for or expecting, but I continued eating a nutrient dense, plant-based diet. However, the urge to have kids was becoming so intense, and I was very distraught that my husband wanted to have his own biological kids and I wasn't able to provide that for him. We were considering adoption or divorce. I was going to ask for a divorce after 11 years of marriage because I couldn't handle having that painful burden on me. I didn’t want to be the one responsible. Those of you who are struggling to conceive know exactly what I am talking about. That guilty feeling.
I felt so incredibly sad that I couldn't have kids. I live in a neighborhood where everyone was having kids, celebrations, enjoying motherhood, and being so happy with their families, and this maternal longing was just hitting me so hard. Well, God is always very merciful. I was starting to meet people who were infertile but prayed and then had kids. Testimonies like this began to pop up in my life and I watched them all. I had a new neighbor move in that told me she was told she would never have kids but then is now onto baby number 3. Well, in one of the testimonies that I was watching, the couple said that they held the word of God as truth and said to God in a heartfelt prayer, "God, you say in your word that we are to be fruitful and multiply please bless us with a child" and she became pregnant shortly thereafter.
My husband and I also prayed together for the first time in our entire marriage. There, I felt my husband’s heart and I felt even more guilt. After hearing all of these testimonies, I started thinking very deeply and starting praying more. One night, I had one of the most intense prayer sessions with God and crying out in tears I said, "God, I have seen you work miracles in my life and everyone around me. I believe with all my heart that you can do anything and overcome anything. I know if you wanted to you could bless me with my own biological child. I refuse to believe that I cannot have my own biological kids when I have a God that is the most powerful being in the universe. I believe that you are the alpha and the Omega. I believe that the promises you say in your word are true. You say in your word, ‘Be fruitful and multiply’. You say ‘If you have the faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains’ and if you 'Speak to a valley of dry bones to come alive they will’ and you are telling me that your Word is true and that these are your promises to me. Therefore I REFUSE to believe that you cannot do this for me. But my heart doesn’t believe anymore. I’ve lost hope. God, if you are willing to bless me with my own biological child, and it is your will, please give me a sign and let me know what you say". And I cried myself to sleep that night.
Then the next day, I had this intense urge to do a pregnancy test. I did the test and found out I was pregnant. I was in shock. I tested more times, and each time I had the same result. I WAS PREGNANT. Literally the next day this happened. I didn't do any fertility treatments, I wasn't taking any medication to conceive. I just was raw vegan and prayed and God showed his glory.
That's what happened.
What I didn’t know was that becoming raw vegan for that short time would open my eyes to a whole other world that existed. I now understand why God guided me to be raw vegan, because my body was filled with so many toxins from an unhealthy lifestyle and environment, and an even more unhealthier diet. He was protecting me from myself. If I had actually gotten pregnant before, with my gallstones and other issues, I could have possibly died from pregnancy complications. God protected me and continues to protect me.
God cured my infertility and taught me about the power of a plant-based lifestyle. Which is why, since then, I have invested in my health by living a cleaner, more toxin free lifestyle. I am not perfect by any means, and I still have a LONG way to go. However, if you are reading this post, and you are struggling to get pregnant, please understand this: God CAN and WILL do the impossible. I am living proof of that. There is nothing He cannot overcome.
I hope my testimony has helped someone today.
* Disclaimer: Please do not take my testimony and attempt to go cold turkey and become raw vegan. Prior to me taking the leap of faith, I did extensive research and consulted with proper licensed medical doctors. This testimony is not meant to be construed as medical advice or consult and nor a guarantee of results from switching over to a plant-based lifestyle. Always consult with the proper medical authority before making any dietary switches, drinking any sort of herbs, teas, or herbal remedies, etc especially if you are breastfeeding, pregnant, or soon to be pregnant.*